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Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert

Birthday: 13 May 1964, Washington, District of Columbia, USA
Birth Name: Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Height: 180 cm

Stephen Tyrone Colbert (pronounced "col-BEAR") was born on May 13, 1964 in Washington, D.C., and grew up in Charleston, South Carolina. He is the son of Lorna Elizabeth (Tuck) and James Will ...Show More

Stephen Colbert
[jokingly]I'd like to think I'm the Pope of late night television. [jokingly]I'd like to think I'm the Pope of late night television.
[on writing] I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a Show more [on writing] I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way. Hide
[To Howard Kurtz on CNN's Reliable Sources (1992) January 25, 2004] We have no desire to make anybod Show more [To Howard Kurtz on CNN's Reliable Sources (1992) January 25, 2004] We have no desire to make anybody look like a blithering idiot, but we do love it when they do. Because we get it off the AP feed and, then, we don't have to write anything for the next five minutes. We can just roll the tape. Hide
I don't accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express. I don't accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express.
The fact that they looked it up in a book just shows that they don't get the idea of truthiness at a Show more The fact that they looked it up in a book just shows that they don't get the idea of truthiness at all. You don't look up truthiness in a book, you look it up in your gut. Hide
[In his junior year in high school]: I was probably still Colbert to a lot of people. But in my mind Show more [In his junior year in high school]: I was probably still Colbert to a lot of people. But in my mind I was coal-BARE." Hide
[stating that the best moment in the 2004 campaign for Democratic presidential nominee was Howard De Show more [stating that the best moment in the 2004 campaign for Democratic presidential nominee was Howard Dean's post-Iowa speech] Because clearly everybody was captivated by it. I think that's an argument why he should be President, because he can capture everyone's attention. Listen, George W. Bush was a cheerleader. I'm sure he screamed like that when he was at Yale, and I don't see why that disqualifies someone from being President. But George Bush did it in a human pyramid. Hide
The trouble with the jokes is that once they're written, I know how they're supposed to work, and al Show more The trouble with the jokes is that once they're written, I know how they're supposed to work, and all I can do is not hit them. I'm more comfortable improvising. If I have just two or three ideas and I know how the character feels, what the character wants, everything in between is like trapeze work. Hide
My character is a patriot, and he believes that the Olympics are war. It's a way to prove who's got Show more My character is a patriot, and he believes that the Olympics are war. It's a way to prove who's got the best country. Only nobody gets hurt. Hide
[about the Washington press corps] But, listen, let's review the rules. Here's how it works. The Pre Show more [about the Washington press corps] But, listen, let's review the rules. Here's how it works. The President makes decisions, he's the decider. The Press Secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Put them through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know, fiction. Hide
[as new host on the premiere of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (2015), September 8, 2015] With t Show more [as new host on the premiere of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (2015), September 8, 2015] With this show I begin the search for the real Stephen Colbert. I just hope I don't find him on Ashley Madison. Hide
My character isn't ironically detached, he's ironically a-ttached; things are important to him. My character isn't ironically detached, he's ironically a-ttached; things are important to him.
As executive producer of this show, I get to ask my character to do whatever I want. As executive producer of this show, I get to ask my character to do whatever I want.
[on his show, May 3, 2017] If you saw my monologue Monday, you know that I was a little upset at Don Show more [on his show, May 3, 2017] If you saw my monologue Monday, you know that I was a little upset at Donald Trump for insulting a friend of mine. So at the end of that monologue I had a few choice insults for the president in return. I don't regret that. He, I believe, can take care of himself. I have jokes; he has the launch pads. So it's a fair fight. Hide
[on what he would like to ask former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean] The media tries to portray you as an Show more [on what he would like to ask former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean] The media tries to portray you as an angry candidate. Doesn't that piss you off? Hide
[Deseret Morning News (Salt Lake City, UT), January 23, 2004] Since there's not more news than there Show more [Deseret Morning News (Salt Lake City, UT), January 23, 2004] Since there's not more news than there used to be, but there's way more time, and more channels doing it all the time, so that analysis has become much more than news . . . They really have to fill and they go, "(Expletive), we'll just have analysis for the next three hours," because there's no more new on the story. And then . . . the first person with a semi-cogent thought, they go, "(Expletive), I'll say that, too." And then that analysis becomes accepted dogma because analysis is the bulk of what you're getting. You're not really getting any more news. Hide
[on his creativity] I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and--like all teenagers--I dabbled in Show more [on his creativity] I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and--like all teenagers--I dabbled in poetry. Hide
I was never interested in political comedy: "Ted Kennedy 's hitting the bottle again!'" Jon Stewart Show more I was never interested in political comedy: "Ted Kennedy 's hitting the bottle again!'" Jon Stewart taught me how to do it so it would be smart. He encouraged everyone to have a point of view. There had to be a thought behind every joke. Hide
Citizens United said that transparency would be the disinfectant, but (c)(4)'s are warm, wet, moist Show more Citizens United said that transparency would be the disinfectant, but (c)(4)'s are warm, wet, moist incubators. There is no disinfectant. Hide
Well, this is the planet we live on, so . . . Well, this is the planet we live on, so . . .
[on his mock "crusade" against the Associated Press regarding his claim that coined the word "truthi Show more [on his mock "crusade" against the Associated Press regarding his claim that coined the word "truthiness"] It's a sin of omission, is what it is. You're not giving people the whole story about truthiness. It's like [William Shakespeare] still being alive and not asking him what "Hamlet" is about. Hide
[on preparing to replace David Letterman's show with The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (2015)] Ther Show more [on preparing to replace David Letterman's show with The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (2015)] There are some huge shoes to fill. And some really big pants. Hide
When Jon Stewart got The Daily Show (1996), [Colbert's wife Evelyn McGee] said, "Wait a second--he w Show more When Jon Stewart got The Daily Show (1996), [Colbert's wife Evelyn McGee] said, "Wait a second--he wasn't the funny one in our group. He was the quiet one in the corner with a beer". Hide
My brother Billy was the joke teller. My brother Jim had a really sharp, cutting wit. And the teller Show more My brother Billy was the joke teller. My brother Jim had a really sharp, cutting wit. And the teller of long stories, that was my brother Ed. As a child, I just absorbed everything they said, and I was always in competition for the laughs. Hide
[In 2009] I know what you're thinking: "Isn't the Iraq War over?" That's what I thought, too. I hadn Show more [In 2009] I know what you're thinking: "Isn't the Iraq War over?" That's what I thought, too. I hadn't seen it in the media for a while, and when I don't see something, I assume it's vanished forever, like in that terrifying game "Peekaboo". We stopped seeing much coverage of the Iraq War back in September when the economy tanked, and I just figured the insurgents were wiped out because they were heavily invested in Lehman Brothers. Turns out there are still 135,000 troops in Iraq, which I don't understand because we've already won the war. And we've won it so many times. We should win something for the number of times we've won it. We eliminated the weapons of mass destruction by having them not exist. We took out Saddam Hussein--or a really convincing and committed Saddam Hussein double. We helped write the Iraqi Constitution and clearly gave Iraqis the right to bear a lot of arms. And by August of next year we'll withdraw every single one of our troops, leaving behind only memories and 50,000 troops. But despite our continued victories, Americans have many lingering questions about Iraq. For example: where is Iraq? My guess is somewhere near Paraguay. Hide
[The Union Leader (Manchester NH, January 25, 2004, when asked why people should watch The Daily Sho Show more [The Union Leader (Manchester NH, January 25, 2004, when asked why people should watch The Daily Show (1996)] You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take ourselves seriously on any level; we're just comedians . . . I'm a huge news junkie. I love what the news does. And we're a shadow, a reflection, of what's happening in the real news. Hide
[Remembering the 2000 presidential election recount] We all had such blue balls from the jokes we wa Show more [Remembering the 2000 presidential election recount] We all had such blue balls from the jokes we wanted to do when Al Gore eventually conceded. And the night it happened, here we were doing them. I turned to Jon Stewart and said, "This is the most fun job on TV right now". Hide
Stephen Colbert's FILMOGRAPHY
All as Actor (345) as Creator (2)
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